Continuing my happiness project I decided to take one of the first bits of wisdom Gretchen provided in her very own happiness project, i.e. that every month you should set goals, or projects, with varying degrees of manageability.  I liked this idea as it is a way to keep tabs on progress while, also, getting things done 😉

Reading about Gretchen’s progress, one of her first projects was to tackle clutter. Looking around at the situation here I too thought this would be a good first project to tackle myself.  For me, however, this project felt like it was a little more than not unwieldy so I decided to break it down into two parts:

1. part 1: clothes (now)
2. part 2: shelves and other stuffs (end of September)

So this past weekend I set out to tackle part 1: clothes.  For me, this part was simply a massive undertaking. However, it was truly enlightening and refreshing and all that. Having lost weight over the past year I knew some clothes I would just get rid of as they would be too big and not wanting to go that direction weight-wise again, I decided it would be best to get rid of everything I thought was just too big now, and there was a lot! So VERY cool, yes indeed. However, over the course of going through my current clothing situation I also ended up having the staunch realization that I had/have a problem, re: clothes spending as I realized that I had WAY too many clothing items and that this was contributing to some of the debt I had been accumulating over the years.  All I could do, say, feel, was whoa!  Over the weekend I went through a whole series of emotions from: holy shit!, to what the f%*k, to ok good, at least I’m chipping away, to feelings of depression, to just feeling good about things again and knowing that I was in a state of mind ready to make a change and grow.

In the process of folding all items I wanted to depart with nicely in piles, I began thinking of what to do with these items. I couldn’t just give them away to people I knew as I was, and still am a big guy, bigger than most people I know – even though I’m chipping away at this and making great progress, as I’ve mentioned here many times – self encouragement here ;).  Talking with my parents, my mom wanted me to try selling some of my clothing items noting some had been barely, if ever, worn. At first I thought this was a good idea as I know, through experience, how hard it is for a big guy to find clothing. However this also brought back emotions of depression and dread as the realization came back of what I had done, re: spending. With that, I packed all the clothes up in bags (*6* full garbage bags of big and tall clothing as the picture above illustrates) and donated all items to the Canadian diabetes foundation. Someone there might be a tad baffled as to how to deal with the situation. I hope they can figure it out though and hopefully they can do the hard work in selling what they can to other fellow big and tall dudes (we stick together gentlemen), or women who like baggy pjs 😉 – with the money they make helping to contribute to finding a cure (both my grandmothers had diabetes).

I truly felt that a pressure had been lifted (so, yea, these self-help-esque type projects do work).

So, having done part 1 of my massive declutter project I have some space to breathe.  I feel good about it, and I know now that I had a wee tad of a little problem re: spending, and that now I can face it head on, learn from it, and grow. I’m looking forward to part 2 at the end of the month. I’m sure I might go through some similar emotions but I’m also sure that it will be a good thing – t.Mac

Here is my guideline, or code (aka Cake: Rent a Goalie, one AWEsome show!), or as Gretchen calls them my [ten] personal commandments. These I devised as part of my happiness project and will be the ten criteria I will try to use daily to evaluate the many things that occur, people I encounter, situations I get involved in, etc.  It will be a work-in-progress, like me 😉

1. Sometime I am (or can be) quick to anger and judge and be rude so the first and foremost code is: Lighten up
2. Since May 2011 I have been keeping tabs on my exercise and what I eat. To date I have lost a fair bit of weight and still have a ways to go. Thus, my second code is: Exercise and eat well
3. I often overlook that I have made some pretty significant accomplishments in my life, and am still in the progress of making a couple pretty big ones too (piling things higher and deeper and finding love and happiness). To me though, there is an arrogance in this statement, i.e. look at how awesome I am, and that is not really something I like to portray myself as having/being. Nonetheless, I need to be proud of some of the things I have, and am doing while keeping it light and being my normal jokingly, sarcastically funny and charming self 😉 So: Be proud but be light
4. Although I love Nova, my family, and my close friends, there can be times, especially with family where it might not seem like I do to the extent that I do.  For instance, having a bad day and taking it out on the first person around (often my brother Joey) or just arguing for arguing sake (often Nova and my parents). I would really like to work on this part of my life, to #1, lighten up and to simply always: Love *&* respect the ones I’m with
5. I often see people surpass me in life, i.e. get married, buy houses, have (and save) money. Sometimes this affects me a great deal. Staying in university for so long, I know the end will eventually justify it all, but seeing people move up and progress while I remain arguably stagnant at times impacts the ol’ noodle a great deal and that leads to me sometimes not following #4, love and respect the ones I’m with. So, I need to learn how to simply: Be patient
6. Over the past year Nova introduced me to numerology. I often take such fuzzy things with a grain of salt as I tend to be more sciencey in my opinions. That said, it was interesting to me. Nova calculated that I am a number 6 type personality.  When I read what that was (and other descriptions as some differ however slight) I was amazed at how close it described me and my inner feelings.  So with #5, be patient, comes compromise but with compromise I must also learn to seek balance and fairness with my mental state and well being. So: Compromise *&* be fair to me (strive for balance)
7. Being seemingly always busy – although there are times I just feel busy and am not. Perhaps this means I am feeling overwhelmed? I need to make sure I make time to do all of the things I’d like to do, visit all of the people I’d like to, and need to visit, and just be me – all of the time. So, I need to learn to simply: Make the time
8. Something I’ve always struggled with is finances.  Let’s face it, those who know me well, and now I guess you reading this (now there’s accountability) know I like my little tech trinkets and music sounds and plant things and, etc. Anyways, 😉 being a student for so long (and on student loan), and partly due to my lack of #5, being patient, I have accumulated a fair deal of debt. When I look at the situation it can be daunting and I often feel like I have nothing really (tangible anyways) to show for it.  So, I am going to strive to be more aware of this and I am going to: Spend less money
9. Something I tend to do is bottle emotional things (at times, not all the time of course as sometimes I just explode!), partly due to the fact I don’t like sounding self-caring, but also I don’t like dealing with things when everyone is emotional. It may also be partly due to the numerology aspect, me being a number 6 type personality, taking on the weight (or emotion) of others with my own and often at the expense of my own well being – my whole #6: compromise and be fair to me. So I’m going to strive to: Discuss it, do not bottle it
10. One thing I really must work on is to: Follow the schedule (just do it now). Self explanatory I think 🙂

-t.Mac